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ashley joalene.

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"sometimes army planes go thru the sky and it's all in the past. so don't you forget about the fact that you have to keep breathing when your logic fails and you find it cold. sometimes you want to sink inside and you face the machine. thousands of flowers all around the machinery and there's too many and you can't see straight"
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[Monday
November 13th, 2006 at 8:33pm]
go add my new journal.
heartsdriedup
(040) sink a ship

[Monday
November 13th, 2006 at 8:27pm]
dfgdfgdfg
testing again.
(000) sink a ship

[Monday
November 13th, 2006 at 5:53pm]
i swear to god, i love you so much. i don't really know what else to say in this situation. but that i love you.

my words aren't as poetic as hers and they're in a different way, but i mean them just the same.

just please know that you have two girls here who love you so much, who would do anything for you. who would stop your pain if we could.

please know that i will never lie to you. that i will support you and love you in everything you feel, do, or don't do.
(010) sink a ship

[Sunday
November 12th, 2006 at 11:04pm]
i want to jump in my car, drive to your house, run inside and hug you and comfort you and tell you i don't hate you. actually, it's not that i want to, but that i feel like i have to, that i should. i'm torn in two. i want my brother back and i'm sick of "being an only child." but i feel like if i don't keep this going, that i've lost. i know that that is wrong, but it's how i feel. i'm not a door mat and i feel like you STILL have not gotten my point. you and i should have NOTHING to do with brooke. while i love her to death, you and i are fighting, you KNOW you have a winning chance with me, so why are you not fighting for it? am i not a good enough prize? is it not good enough to say "i've gotten my sister back?" we lost each other once, once when we had no control over the situation. now that we have control, it's being thrown out the window, thrown out with the trash. neither of us wants to give in. i KNOW that i am right in this situation. i know that i've done NOTHING wrong. i will stand my ground on that until i die.

it's like i don't know what to say and yet i have so much to say at the same time. i don't know where to go with this.

i cannot and will not do anything further with the brooke situation. will all know where she stands. accept it and move on. it's not fair for me to try and change her mind and it's not fair of you to keep badgering her about it, besides, it just pushes her further away.

the things you have said to me and about me to brooke have killed me. i cannot believe you would say those things, only to turn around and tell me you loved me.

maybe we should just go back and be BROTHER and SISTER and not friends. because it seems to not be working very well.

we both know how the beginning was written, the middle is still being fought through and only god knows how it will end.
(020) sink a ship

[Sunday
November 12th, 2006 at 9:51pm]
a crapload of pics!Collapse )
(050) sink a ship

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